The Object of My Child's Affection

Every parent has been there; you're in a hurry to leave, but your little one is holding you back in search of his favorite teddy. Or your eight month old won't stop screaming in her room because her binkie is suddenly lost. As caretakers you know how constricting a comfort item can be to your way of life. You should keep in mind, though, to your young child the need for his old teddy is what may feel debilitating. Really, security items are just what they sound like, and are an important, healthy part of childhood.

By the time children reach one year, they have already established a security item that they keep by their side at nearly all times. In children younger than one, a pacifier or even their thumb will typically work rather well to soothe and comfort them in their time of need. As a baby matures to toddler age, they frequently look for something a little more physically reassuring such as the previously mentioned blankie or stuffed animal. There are many that believe that the soft texture of such items is one of the reasons for the comforting effect they've got on little ones. A toddler will most often caress a teddy bear or rub a blanket on their arm or face to find comfort.

An additional soothing feature your toddler could find with soft textured comfort items is the way it reminds them of you as their parent. The soft material of a blankie rubbed on your child's face can remind her or him of your skin or clothing while being hugged or cradled by you. Or possibly the teddy bear was always part of the sleep routine you and your child have established. Again, the association with you comforting your child or making her or him feel secure is what prompts the strong connection to these inanimate objects. Occasionally children make comfort objects out of less typical possessions. It could be just about anything from a sock to a hard toy. Although the attachment is not as apparent, there is no doubt an emotional attachment the child has made to find comfort from the item.

However annoying it is for you to handle a child's consistent longing for their blankie or toy, it'll help to consider that this phase of childhood is both healthy and necessary. The world is a scary place to small children, particularly as they reach their first birthday. It is during these years that children suffer from separation anxiety due to the fact that they are more likely to become separated from you through preschool, a sitter, or even by their own choice as they explore their environment. With a comfort item, your child is finding a way to comfort himself when you aren't available for them or as they magnify their independence. Regard it as a temporary partner to get them through this growth transition in their lives.

It won't be until your child reaches the age of 3 or 4 that she or he will begin to control their own emotions and feelings and do not need to rely on a comfort object for comfort, according to Jane Kostelc, a child-development professional. It is also at this age that dragging around a dirty old blanket might seem less socially accepted by your child's classmates. Who knew our children had to worry about peer pressure at such a young age? For now, it's better for you the parent to accept this part of your child's life as the milestone that it is. When you do so you will help their growth and emotional development. Certainly something that is worth your momentary frustration.